05/2025
Market Madness: How To Keep Your Sanity When Stocks Go Wild
When the market plunged unexpectedly this spring, James, a 42-year-old small business owner, was glued to his phone, repeatedly checking his stock app. Every dip felt like a personal attack on the future he had carefully planned, including his retirement savings, his daughter’s college fund, and even the down payment he hoped to make on a new house.
As the volatility of the stock market continued, James experienced more difficulty. He started waking up in the middle of the night to check overseas markets, scrolling through grim news articles and thinking about worst-case scenarios.
After a few weeks, James realized that he was living in a constant state of anxiety. He was snapping at this family, skipping meals, and feeling exhausted. Eventually, he consulted with his financial planner and connected with a therapist.
James is not a real person but a combination of people I have spoken with since the stock market became increasingly unpredictable. In particular, people nearing retirement or may be about to begin paying for college report how frightened they are about their financial future. This is a widespread fear.
Providing Context To The Current Financial Environment
Concern over your financial future has been a topic that has been getting a great deal of coverage. Nearly 90% of Americans with a household income of $100,000 or more have a stake in the stock market, including retirement accounts and college savings plans. Many feel helpless, frightened, depressed, and anxious about the market’s recent performance.
Previous research has confirmed a relationship between falling stock prices and an increase in the number of visits to the emergency room as well as prescriptions for antidepressants.
In addition, people have been making quick decisions on their finances, such as changing their wills, moving investments frantically among different accounts, or deciding to cash out entirely from the stock market. This is primarily due to the rapid changes in the stock market, leaving investors with tremendous uncertainty. One family I know reported canceling vacation plans for this year.
Feeling helpless in the face of the current stock market performance can lead to depression. It can immobilize many people, impairing their ability to look at the situation more rationally. For many, money represents more than just currency. It symbolizes self-worth and the ability to maintain your lifestyle. Big market drops can trigger feelings of loss of control or even an existential threat.
The urge to scroll through your phone for any news about your investments adds to the difficulty of coping with this situation. While you may think of this as a way to feel more in control of this situation by being informed, it can backfire as it sets off your anxiety spiraling out of control, keeping your nervous system in a state of constant arousal. Seeing negative headlines can fuel doomsday scenarios.
While we cannot influence the actual events in the stock market, we can manage our reactions to them. Anxiety about the stock market is not different from feeling the same way about other situations. Here are some healthy ways to manage our emotions during this turbulent time.
Strategies To Manage Market Anxiety
Cut Down The Strolling. Do not check on how the market is doing several times per day. Instead, set a designated time in the morning and evening to check in. Avoid checking your portfolio obsessively, as doing so can distort your perception of long-term trends. Also, block updates from financial apps and only look during the times you designated.
Be Selective In Choosing Your News Sources. You only view reliable news sources when you check in on the market. This may not include social media sites, which are susceptible to sensationalizing the news. Consider following established financial analysts and economists.
Utilize Coping Strategies. Rereading bad news is not a coping strategy. If anything, it will keep you stuck in a state of anxiety. Engage in activities you enjoy, such as hobbies, exercise, listening to music, and spending time with friends. Also, mindfulness strategies such as relaxation training, deep breathing, or visualization can help instill a sense of calm.
Challenge Your Catastrophic Thinking. When you feel trapped in the vortex of imagining horrible outcomes, attempt to change that narrative. Ask yourself what the worst-case scenario is and how likely it will happen. Remind yourself that the market has recovered from turbulent times. Instead of thinking that you can be wiped out, consider that you have long-term strategies in place.
Seek Support If Necessary. If you are overwhelmed by the current financial environment, consider contacting a financial planner who can offer reassurance or provide a different context to understand the current situation. Additionally, if you are unable to manage your anxiety, reach out to a therapist.
Preparing For The Future
Today’s market swings can feel overwhelming. Also, financial conditions will likely fluctuate wildly in the foreseeable future. It is important to remember that volatility is a regular part of investing. Staying calm, informed, and committed to your plan can help you ride out the storm.
The strongest investors are not those who avoid uncertainty but those who learn to move through it with patience and confidence. History has shown that markets have always recovered, rewarding patience and resilience. By taking a steady, informed approach, you can turn today’s uncertainty into tomorrow’s opportunity.
The importance of remaining calm and resisting impulsive moves in times of economic upheaval is reflected in this quote by Warren Buffet, the investor and philanthropist:
“The stock market is designed to transfer money from the impatient to the patient.”
2/2024
The Power Of Kindness
One afternoon, I heard a loud sound from the rear of my car. I immediately knew I had a flat tire. I got off the highway but was stuck on the exit ramp next to a busy road. I called the automobile club and was told there would be a long wait as they were flooded with calls.
I got out of my car to wave cars away from mine. Doing this, I was subjected to a barrage of verbal abuse. People yelled at me for blocking the exit ramp and made obscene gestures. One carload of young people laughed at me while calling me names. Unfortunately, the auto club was still backed up, attending to other calls over two hours later.
Suddenly, a car pulled up, and the driver asked if I needed help. I told him I was waiting for the auto club but did not know when they would arrive. He immediately pulled over, took out a jack, and said he would change my tire. I was dumbfounded, and my spare tire was on my car within ten minutes. I offered this good Samaritan money, but he refused and quickly drove off.
On that road, I experienced the best and worst of humanity. I prefer to focus on the former as a stranger exhibited friendliness, consideration, and support towards me when no one else did. This is a definition of kindness.
Kindness Gets A Holiday
On February 17th, the National Random Acts of Kindness Day is celebrated. In 1982, writer Anne Herbert wrote a paper entitled “Practice Random Acts Of Kindness And Acts Of Senseless Beauty.” This concept of practicing kindness began to pick up steam.
In 1991, a woman noticed this phrase scrawled on a warehouse wall. She shared it with her husband, a middle school teacher, and he presented it to his students, one of whom had a parent who was a newspaper columnist. The reporter wrote about it in his newspaper, and the article was picked up nationally in Reader’s Digest magazine.
A book entitled; “Random Acts of Kindness” was then published. The book became a big seller, and people in different locales began to celebrate random acts of kindness days. In 1995, a national Random Acts of Kindness Day was celebrated coast to coast and has continued since.
In fact, on June 3rd, 2021, legislation was passed in Canada, making the third week of February National Kindness Week. Canada was the first country to pass this law. The purpose of doing so was to enhance Canadians’ mental health and well-being by “encouraging acts of kindness, volunteerism, and charitable giving.”
Benefits of Kindness
Kindness is a virtue as old as humanity itself. It is only recently, however, that it has been a subject of scientific research. The impact of both the recipient and initiator of kindness acts is essential in living a life of psychological and physical well-being.
Psychologically, people who engage in acts of kindness have greater compassion, lower rates of depression and anxiety, and are happier overall. Additionally, they enjoy a greater sense of meaning and purpose and enhanced self-esteem.
Healthwise, people who practice kindness have stronger immune systems, lower blood pressure, and lower stress-induced illness rates. Some evidence suggests that lifespans are significantly increased. Kind acts reduce the level of inflammation, which is associated with chronic pain and migraine headaches.
Socially, kindness is linked to stronger interpersonal relationships, including romantic ones.
Practicing kindness activates the pleasure centers of the brain. Increased amounts of the neurotransmitters dopamine and endorphins contribute to feelings of mild euphoria following an act of kindness. Also, the prefrontal cortex, associated with emotional regulation, is activated while doing a kind act.
Kindness Comes In All Sizes
The great thing about kindness is that even small acts have a significant impact. Research confirms that small acts such as holding the door for a stranger, petting an animal, or buying coffee for a colleague produce many effects noted earlier. Observing others being kind or recalling our previous kind acts positively influences our psychological well-being.
Kindness does not have to be celebrated individually but can be shared with family members. For instance, activities such as donating toys and clothes, making care packages for people experiencing homelessness, and providing support for neighbors who may need it, such as shoveling the snow in an older adult’s driveway, are all activities family members of all ages can participate in.
One way to experience the impact of kindness for yourself is to choose a single day to perform acts of kindness towards others and do this for four weeks. To enhance the impact of this experience, keep a journal of the acts you engage in and their emotional impact on you. This will help sensitize you to how kind acts affect your emotional well-being.
A very impactful kindness practice is volunteering for a cause, even for small periods. This will boost your overall happiness level. Think about a cause that resonates with you and how your skill set can contribute. Be honest with yourself about the amount of time and effort you can devote to this pursuit.
Kindness activities do not have to be for adults. Data shows that kids can also derive many of the same benefits as adults. Offer children the opportunity to share possessions with others, greet peers and adults by name, say thank you, and help others. It is never too early to promote prosocial behavior in children.
In one study, researchers gave participants either $5 or $20, which they had to spend on themselves or others before the end of the day. They measured the participants’ happiness levels before giving them the money and then called them on the phone in the evening. The results? Those who had spent the money on others were happier than those who had used it for their needs.
Paying It Forward
One benefit of engaging in acts of kindness is that it enhances our mood, making us more likely to want to do the same for others. After the stranger changed my tire, I felt very grateful. I tried a new restaurant in the area for dinner and left a generous tip for the waitress. Being the recipient of an act of kindness made me want to do something nice for someone. Kindness is contagious!
Let us resolve to practice kindness not just during February when the acts of kindness day and week are celebrated. This is a practice that can lift all of us all year long.
“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
- Aesop
11/12/2023
Practicing Gratitude Is Not Only For Thanksgiving
Beyond watching football, parades, and overeating, Thanksgiving is dedicated to giving thanks for our blessings. Many families will go around the table to recite what they feel grateful for. Research on gratitude reveals that practicing it has many benefits, which begs the question, why only express gratitude on Thanksgiving?
Thanksgiving - A Short History
The Pilgrims celebrated the first Thanksgiving in 1621, following famine and disease. Having finally experienced a bountiful summer harvest, the Pilgrims planned a celebratory meal honoring that they had made it through a challenging time.
Thanksgiving became a national holiday in 1863 while the country was in the civil war. In 1941, less than three weeks after Pearl Harbor was bombed, Thanksgiving became a holiday on the fourth Thursday in November. During these difficult times, the government recognized that expressing gratitude can have a positive impact. It promotes hope and bonding.
What Is Gratitude?
Gratitude has been defined as “a sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life.” It has two related steps:
1. Acknowledging the goodness in our lives, such as the people we love, good health, food to eat, a home, etc.
2. Recognizing that the source of these blessings is, to some extent, outside of our own doing. Thus, when we acknowledge the good things in our lives, we recognize that we are not the only reason for this goodness. Gratitude has an interpersonal component, allowing us to acknowledge others when we give thanks.
Psychological Impact
Practicing gratitude is linked to lower rates of depression while strengthening positive emotional states such as optimism and tranquility. Practicing gratitude helps to regulate emotions. Feeling grateful can inoculate us from stress and minimize the impact of toxic emotions such as envy and resentment.
One study found that Vietnam War veterans who practiced gratitude had lower rates of post-traumatic stress disorder. Recognizing that you have things to be grateful for, even in challenging times, fosters resilience.
Physical Impact
Healthwise, practicing gratitude promotes more robust immune systems and reduces rates of stress-related illnesses. Those who practice gratitude report sleeping better and exercising more than people who do not practice giving thanks. Grateful people are more likely to care for their health, contributing to greater longevity.
Other physical benefits of gratitude include reduced symptoms of physical pain, lower blood pressure, and overall better cardiac health.
Gratitude Can Change Our Brain
Another amazing benefit of gratitude is that it changes how our brains adapt to the world. Specifically, when we practice gratitude, the parasympathetic nervous system, which is a calming center, is triggered and releases neurotransmitters such as oxytocin and dopamine, which help to de-stress us while elevating our mood.
Social Impact
Practicing gratitude can also impact the quality of our relationships by strengthening our bonds with others. Practicing gratitude can also foster a sense of altruism, making you more likely to donate to charity and engage in volunteer work. Gratitude can help reduce resentment and foster forgiveness.
Gratitude helps us behave more prosaically, even when others are not behaving kindly to us. Reduced likelihood of aggression and displaying more sensitivity and empathy to others is also a benefit of gratitude.
Some Gratitude Practices
Gratitude is a compelling emotion that pays dividends for all. How can we experience its benefits?
Specific gratitude practices can get you started on the road to giving thanks and showing appreciation for the goodness in your life and partake of the benefits of this emotion.
Three Good Things
It is easy to get caught up in things that can go wrong and take the good things and people in our lives for granted. As a result, we can overlook many good things.
Write down three things that went well each day for at least one week. Writing them down is more beneficial than simply doing this exercise in your head. The items can be small, everyday events or more important milestones (e.g., “My partner made the coffee today,” “My grandparents were happy when I brought them groceries,” or “I earned a big promotion”).
As you write, follow these instructions:
Title the event (e.g., “I received a compliment on something I have been working hard on”).
Write down precisely what happened in as much detail as possible, including where you were, what you did or said, and, if others were involved, what they did or said.
Include how this event made you feel at the time and how it made you feel later (including as you write it).
Explain what you think caused this event—why it happened.
Use your writing style, and do not worry about grammar or spelling. Use as much detail as you would like.
If you find yourself focusing on negative feelings, try to refocus your mind on the good event and the positive feelings that came with it. This can take effort but gets easier with practice and can make a real difference in how you feel. In doing this, we want to train our brain to orient itself to the good parts of life rather than directing our attention to stressful things.
You can cultivate a deep feeling of gratitude by noticing good things as they occur and savoring them in hindsight, increasing your overall happiness and well-being.
Gratitude Journal
Keeping a journal of things we are grateful for takes more time than the three good things exercise as we write about more information. However, we can do it every other day, if not daily.
Reflect since we last did it to write down at least five things we feel grateful for.
Here are four tips for keeping a gratitude journal:
Writing in your gratitude journal right before bed can help you sleep better at night. When our heads hit the pillow, we often think of things we did not get done or worry about what will happen tomorrow. Writing down your blessings before bed can reduce stress and help you fall asleep because you have switched to thinking about good things.
On the other hand, maybe you find that writing in your gratitude journal first thing in the morning about your previous day starts you off on the right foot. Alternatively, perhaps jotting down what you are thankful for at lunchtime energizes and boosts you. Find a time that works for you whenever you are most likely to do it.
Start with a goal of writing three things in each gratitude journal entry, and do not overcomplicate it. Did you wake up today? Did you have hot water to take a shower? Do you have a roof over your head? Maybe you did not win the lottery, but if you can get back to the basics, you will start to notice all the little things you take for granted without even noticing.
Maybe someone let you merge in on the highway instead of blowing right by. Perhaps someone complimented you, or you felt good about complimenting someone else. Maybe you enjoyed a quick walk around the block in the sun. A gratitude journal helps you be more present as you are more aware of the goodness in your life as you are experiencing it.
The more details you can write about a positive experience, the better you will remember it. Details are powerful because our mind cannot distinguish between real-time and imaginary time. You experience the same mind-body response writing out the details as you did living it.
For example, maybe you enjoyed your cup of coffee this morning. Was it hot or iced? What mug did you use? Where did you sit when you enjoyed it? As you write about the details of a positive experience, you relive it. We constantly revisit adverse incidents in our heads, so why not focus on a positive one instead?
Writing a gratitude journal will help you begin noticing yourself and appreciating the positive aspects of your life while putting the negative ones into better perspective.
Day of Thanks
Over the next week or month, choose a day to serve as your personal Thanksgiving. On that day, go out of your way to express gratitude to anyone who treats you kindly, even for small acts, such as someone holding the door for you or simply asking how you are doing. Afterward, write about it, noting whom you thanked over the day and what it was like to express gratitude in this way.
Expressing positive feelings directly to people around us can bolster these emotions and strengthen our positive emotions, which helps our well-being.
Gratitude Practices For Children
The benefits of gratitude do not have to be limited to adults. Children and teenagers who practice gratitude derive the same benefits as adults. In addition, they perform better academically and show more compassion for their peers. Below are a few gratitude practices designed for kids.
Pick Up Sticks Game
This is a variant of the pick-up sticks game in which a pile of colored sticks is dropped on a table or floor, and each player has to pick up a stick without moving the surrounding sticks. The player with the most sticks wins.
To infuse this game with gratitude, add a twist. Every time someone picks up a stick successfully, they have to name something they are grateful for, such as people, places, food, an object, or anything of the child’s choice.
Gratitude Collage
Children can look through magazines or use pictures they draw to create a collage or vision board of things that make them feel thankful. After the child creates the board, they can be encouraged to talk about it and provide any details they can recall about what they created.
Gratitude ABCs
Present a child with a sheet of paper with a letter on each line going down the sheet in alphabetical order. A line follows each letter. Have the child write something they are grateful for that begins with the letter on each line.
Gratitude Scavenger Hunt
Create a list of items that children can collect and discuss why they are grateful for them. Prompts can include finding something that makes you laugh, proud of yourself, keeps you healthy, or brings you joy. Gratitude scavenger hunts can also be found online. The child can talk about their thoughts and feelings about the item they selected and how their life would be different without it.
A Final Word
Practicing gratitude is truly the gift that keeps giving. Both donor and recipient reap benefits that can far surpass the reason for the gratitude in the first place.
Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other.
Randy Pausch, College Professor.
Five Ideas To Help You Parent During A Pandemic
There were not many books available on effective parenting during a Pandemic and for good reason. No one could have imagined how your lives were going to change so rapidly without much time to prepare. Literally overnight, routines were shattered and the question of how long this will continue has yet to be answered.
Many families have been thrown for a huge loop. Wondering how this will impact them financially, whether it is safe to go to the grocery store, or order in pizza, have become central concerns. In addition, many parents have been given the role of managing their child being schooled at home while at the same time covering their own work responsibilities if they are employed.
All of this, plus isolation from others, have placed extremely high levels of stress on families. Parents who previously felt confident in their role, can suddenly feel lost, overwhelmed, or just plain ineffective. I would like to offer some words of reassurance based on my years of treating children and parents, including my current work supporting families during the pandemic.
Look Out For Yourself
This is the most important piece of advice I would like to offer you. You will not suddenly lose your understanding and sensitivity while raising your child(ren) during the pandemic. However, the change in lifestyle along with other pressures can make you feel as if you forgot everything you knew about being a parent.
In order to have your energies, physical and mental, available to parent, you have to first make sure you have enough to give. Self-care is critical during this time. It is not a sign of selfishness to take some time out for yourselves. All parents need to replenish so their emotional tanks are full, otherwise they will feel nothing left to give their children.
So, go ahead and take the time to binge watch that T.V. series you always wanted to see, take time to work out, go for a bike ride, download a mediation app and use it, or attempt that 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle or that recipe you have been meaning to try. Set aside a definite time to pamper yourself
Nobody’s Perfect
Even under the best of circumstances, uncertainties about your parenting can emerge. Self-doubt, can creep into many decisions we make. In part this can be fueled by believing that we must be flawless with no room for trial and error which incidentally, is a very effective form of learning. You must not hold yourselves to an unrealistic high standard.
During this period, it can make sense to follow the path of least resistance. For instance, if your child wants an extra half hour on the iPad perhaps it is a good idea. However, they should know that while they enjoy greater access to video games, it is a function of the current situation. When things return to normal (or some facsimile) access to video games will revert to prior pandemic levels.
Don’t compare yourself to other parents. Each child has a distinct genetic and emotional makeup and their dispositions can differ greatly. Comparing children is like equating apples to oranges. While a particular strategy works for one parent, it does not mean it will work in your situation. Also, no one knows what really goes on behind the closed doors of other families.
“Invisible threads are the strongest ties.” (Friedrich Nietzsche)
This quote by the renowned German philosopher, highlights the value of having meaningful connections with others. While it always has been important to have time to spend with friends, doing so now is crucial. This is as true for your kids as it is for you. As immediate family members are the only people you should see without social distancing, it can put a huge strain on those relationships.
Maintain contact with those outside of your family to reduce stress. Go for a socially distant walk with a friend, or arrange a zoom happy hour. I have seen teenagers, as well as adults, park their cars in a big circle in a parking lot and sit in their open trunks while they catch up. Friends can be a vital part of our maintaining a sense of normalcy during these very non normal times.
In fact, a recent study demonstrated that people who had an interaction with someone they care deeply about reported an increase in energy greater than people who drank a cup of coffee in the same time frame.
Also, try to reconnect with those you have lost touch with. Think about reaching out to that friend or relative you have not seen in years and check in to see how they are doing. This simple act of kindness will not only have a big impact on those you reach out to, but you will feel really good for doing so.
Give Gratitude
This can feel like a challenge especially if your family is dealing with the impact of Covid-19 first hand. Because so much of your lives now are not under your control, this can contribute to feelings of passivity and helplessness. Eventually you may risk slipping into a state of depression.
An effective strategy to cope is to practice gratitude. Evidence demonstrates the positive impact that feeling gratitude can have on our emotional and physical states. Practicing gratitude can release feel good hormones in our brain which can elevate our mood.
When you brush your teeth in the evening or before falling asleep while lying in bed, think about three things you are grateful for that happened during that day. Try not to repeat the same things daily but really take the time to identify things that are unique to that day. They can be big or small. It may not always be easy but it will train your brain to seek out the positive around you.
“Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” (The Temptations)
Finally, follow the advice of that great Motown group, The Temptations. Do not hesitate to reach out if you feel you need support. Start with your partner or other close family member and try to work out a doable schedule that attempts to balance being a parent, spouse, employee and teacher. Parents will need to make significant changes in their division of labor to help each other out.
Don’t let pride keep you from reaching beyond the family for support. Despite the pandemic, mental health professionals are available remotely to help you sort out your feelings and assist in coming up with strategies to help get your life back on track.
Final Word
No one would ever sign up to parent during a pandemic. However, we are all doing it. Remember to be kind to yourselves and allow for moments of anguish. It is from these that we can emerge stronger than ever!
“I came to parenting the way most of us do — knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.” — Mayim Bialik, actress