Easing The Jitters: Helping Kids Handle Back-To-School Anxiety

The night before the first day of school can feel just as nerve-wracking for parents as it does for kids —new teachers, new routines, and new faces. It is essential to remember that it is entirely normal for children to experience a mix of excitement and anxiety as summer gives way to the start of the school year.

           The good news is that there are simple steps parents can take to help ease the transition and set their child up for a calmer, more confident start to the school year. This blog will review strategies to help parents facilitate a smoother start to the school year for their anxious child.

 Encourage Your Child To Talk About Their Feelings.         

          Kids are not always able to share their feelings, particularly when anxiety predominates. The idea of talking about this emotion further frightens them. 

          As the school year approaches, offer your child opportunities to talk about their emotions. You can point out to them that it is understandable for them to seem upset or worried. Then inquire if they are thinking about starting school. Keep the chat casual and remind them that it is normal to feel anxious at this time.

           Validating what your child is feeling allows them to experience you as someone who hears them and is empathetic to their concerns. This can encourage them to expand on how they are feeling.

 Rehearse Conversations Your Child Can Have On Day One 

          If your child is anxious in social situations, it would be a good idea to help them anticipate the types of conversations they might have on the first day of school. Practice initiating and maintaining conversations with both new and familiar faces. Again, remind them that it is okay to feel uncomfortable in social situations.

           You and your child can role-play both themselves and another child, getting to know each other. Modeling what to say in these situations is a powerful way for kids to incorporate an understanding of how they can relate to others.

 Review The Class List 

          It can be beneficial for your child to know who will be in their class. If possible, you can obtain a copy of the class list and review it with your child. It can be reassuring to find out they know some of their classmates before school even starts. 

          If your child has had challenges with another student and that student’s name is on the list, this can be an opportunity to talk about ways your child can deal with them, particularly if they have had difficulties with them previously.

 Talk About The Teacher 

          Some kids are worried that their new teacher may be mean or not like them. They may also be sad that they do not have a previous teacher whom they loved. Reassure your child that the teacher is there to be supportive. If necessary, the teacher and parent can work together to help diffuse any concerns that may arise.

           It can also be helpful to point out to your child that if they are disappointed in not getting a teacher they wanted, it is very possible they may be pleasantly surprised by their new one, just as they were when they discovered a teacher they really liked. 

Re-establish Routines Early 

          While summer can be relaxing, it can also make it difficult to transition back to school-year routines. A week or two before school starts, gradually adjust bedtimes and wake-up times to help children get back on track.  

Connect With Peers 

          If possible, arrange playdates with classmates before school starts. Having a familiar face on the first day of school can make a big difference.  

Share Your Own Experiences  

          It can be helpful to share a time when you were nervous about a new experience and how you managed to get through it. This can communicate to your child that their feelings are typical and they are not alone in having them.

 Familiarize Your Child With What Is To Come 

          For many children, anxiety arises from not knowing what their experience will be. The uncertainty can be very powerful and frightening. 

          Knowledge is power. Inform your child to the extent you can what the schedule will be. Review their daily routine, especially in the morning as they get ready. Tell them when they will get up, where they will catch the bus if they are taking one, or if the location has changed. 

          For kids starting at a new school, it would be beneficial to take them to the school and arrange for them to be shown around. If it is a new middle or high school, once they receive their schedule, they can follow it in the building before school starts, so they learn how to get from one room to another. Try to minimize the chance of surprise. 

Use Positive Reminders 

          Remind your child of past successes, especially when they began something new. For instance, “Remember how nervous you were when you started camp, and then you made friends and had so much fun.” 

          Focusing on your child’s strengths and past accomplishments helps to build confidence and reduce stress.

 Pack Comfort Into The Day

           Placing a note of encouragement in your child’s lunchbox or sending a familiar item they like is a great reminder to your child of how loved and supported they are. It can make the transition from home to school smoother.  

Plan for Reconnection

           You can offer a plan of how you and your child will reconnect after school. When you do reconnect, perhaps having a special snack together or 15 minutes of undivided attention (i.e., no phones) with your child can help them share their day with you 

Stay Calm Yourself 

          While ensuring your child is calm for the start of school is important, it is equally important to tune into how you are feeling. Children are often influenced by their parents’ emotions. Project calm and confidence when discussing the new school year, as this will help them feel the same. Children often mirror their parents’ feelings.

 A Final Word 

          Back-to-school anxiety does not have to mean something is wrong. It can simply mean that your child is facing change, and change can feel big. With your patience, encouragement, and the calming strategies reviewed in this blog, your child can learn that nervous feelings do not have to hold them back when they start school.  

          As your child works through these butterflies and experiences success, they are building confidence and resilience that will last far beyond the last room. As a parent, your steady support is the most powerful tool they have—and with it, they can step into the new school year ready to grow, learn, and thrive.